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Monday, May 6, 2013

Things I never imagined myself saying

"please don't run with your eyes closed"

"do not punch your balls"

"we don't put muffins in the toilet"

"let's go poop inside"

"I know honey, boys are just gross. All the time. Forever."

"HEY!! BE NICE! The dog gets to sit there"

"NO you may net poke between your toes with a pencil"

"I know, I'm sorry you can't fit in your drawer"

"please don't slap the dogs eye"

"YAYYYY you picked your own huge booger!!"

"Thank god you finally pooped!"

"we do not lick the fire place bricks"

"Let's go get our Head-Shoulders-Knees-N-Toes on!!"

"it's not nice to make yourself throw up"

"Ooooo I don't want all those fruit cocktail pieces in my bed thanks"

"obviously he's tired. He's sleep crying"

"aw thank you for all the these cars in my pockets"

"OOooooh toenails are not food"

"One, two, three, four stickers in your hair"

"She gets to swing too. You aren't the king of swings"

"Aw it hurts when you slap your own face, doesn't it?"

"Honey don't put that in your ear"

"You better stop or you'll fall in a hole"

"Sorry buddy, you are not magnetic"

"Let's pretend that is locked forever ok?"

" HAY! The dog doesn't want to go under the couch"

This is a list I have kept and added to for the last 5 months. I know I missed writing down some good ones but these are still good. Also, I stay tuned for the next list called "Things I sang about today".

Motherhood is weird.


  1. SO weird. Love these. "The dog gets to sit there" had me seriously lol'ing for some reason.

  2. I know when I realized I was not magnetic for the first time I was very upset. IN-CON-SOLABLE. ;)