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Monday, February 28, 2011

Look what I can do!!

My son is oh so very talented. Gifted even ( what mother does not think this of their child right?). My kid can do a few things better than your kid for sure. Like, for instance, he is advanced when it comes to Houdini type tricks. I wouldn't be half shocked if he became a magician. He can wriggle out of his own pants and undo a diaper in record time and in total silence. I know this because the monitor did not alert me to his stripping. My little nudist has now decided that pants free is the way to be. All kidding aside, it's so annoying. He refuses to have pants put back onto his squirmy little body ( little, ha! my little bubble butt). And I have to tackle him and entertain him with something shiny or sparkly while slamming pants onto his person with speed and agility ( and I really don't get numerous attempts without a hostile fight back so it's the first time or defeat).

He refuses to say Momma. But laughs when I correct him calling me Dadda. Evil stuff I tell ya. But I have found a way to seek revenge. I have found......the tickle spot! Dun Dun Duuuunnnnnnn! So when baby gets feisty I get him. The laugh produced by a tickle attack is like no other. He already has a fairly hearty chuckle so when I really wind him up it makes me laugh to tears myself. The best is when the first part of the laugh is all gaspy and the the chuckle and then when the end is all " tsh tsh tsh tshhhhh *sigh*". That's the only way I can describe it.

His other new amazing thing is that he is cutting a tooth (finally after two months of teething. how rude). And he is taking it pretty well. This is making him investigate mouths though. Anyone's mouth. Friends at birthday parties fall victim to the forceful baby dentist wannabe as he suddenly shoves his whole hand into their mouth to touch teeth. The look on his face when he is exploring the mouth is priceless awe and intrigue. He taps a tooth, then tries to take it out, then grabs a few and squeezes, and pokes the gums and sometimes smooshes the tongue to the roof of the mouth if you let him. I let him. Maybe that is gross to you. Or maybe you understand that his interest in exploring these things is very important. And maybe it's a good thing I let him check for cavities when no one is around because I am mumbling things like "toof" and "tun" once he has actually invaded my face. I try to name all things to give him a great vocabulary, in this situation it proves difficult to properly enunciate.

So my kid is clearly on his way to becoming the very best magician/dentist in the universe ( though at the rate he is going it may be a dentist at a nudist colony). Which is great because I have been dying to have something up my sleeve when the One Upper Mommy type strikes. So far I have kept them at bay with sarcasm ( because it is sooo hard to have an honest to goodness jab talk over which baby is crawling "properly"). I have to interject things like " I heard that children allowed to graze outdoors actually read earlier" just to see if they are just waiting for their turn to talk about their own kid. Like I have said, it is extremely hard for me to partake in these group gatherings. Not because I am better, but because I don't care to compete. Every kid is different. It is not a contest. There is no prize. But I do it to feel like a good Mom after being cooped up with me, myself and I for too long a stretch.

I hear the nudist talking to himself, no doubt standing up and bouncing around like he wants to break the crib. Time to go see if I again win the pants or no pants game with my guess of No Pants. If I am correct I reward myself with Girl Scout Cookies!!

Twenty minutes later:
Came back to say I won the game!! No pants indeed!

And also to add the word of today.

Jab Talk- Not arguing. But not a polite conversation. More or less a session of back and forth one-upping that has an underlying insulting feel. You will recognize this type of chat by the awkwardness of others in the room that are unwilling to participate but eagerly awaiting the next jab.

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