Because fat with an "f" is not big enough a word to describe the torment of trying on pants. I see what women mean about the changes in the hip area. I am wondering if it will ever be the same. I really hope so considering the very deep investment in jeans I have sponsored over the years. I would really hate to have to start over. I have officially lost 31 lbs of the 66 I gained carrying Aidan. And I am trying to remind myself that it took 9 months to put it on and I intend an giving myself 9 months to take it off and get in shape. I think that is fair. My brain knows this is the plan yet when I found myself to small for maternity pants and to large for pre-preggo pants I was in a funk. I am at least 2 months away from buttoning my favorite pair and way farther from them looking dy-no-mite again (just because they button ladies, does not mean they look awesome. that is a fact). So my sweet dear of a husband took me to get a new pair of jeans so I would show my face in public without feeling super duper self conscious (though I do realize that friends really are only checking out the baby and what he is outfitted in). I went through the racks of clearance because I refuse to pay full price for pants I demand to be to thin for in a couple months. I grabbed a huge range of sizes and went to the fitting room. I came out empty handed and ready to cry. Our country should use that procedure as cruel torture for treason. It would bring people to their knees with self loathing. Anyhow, I gave up that day and was contemplating just getting new shoes because I know I have only gained half a shoe size (which is so weird but it really happens). Kelly was very supportive and the next day we tried it again at another store. Swallowing my pride I bypassed the sizes I tried on the day before, and I pick tentatively through a range of double digits I have never put on my body before. Trying these on I was happy that I had selected much larger than necessary as it made me feel better about the one that fit correctly. The larger of these was left on the hangers thank goodness. The hips don't lie alright. I will however say that this brand of jeans is normally very expensive and very ass-tastic. A fine reward for misery (80$ jeans for 10$, yeah I rock).
I was much happier as we left the mall, which is normally my personal hell. But as we got to the car I worried that this whole hip situation would affect the wardrobe I had packed lovingly for this fall. The added cushion I have grown on the tush area will hopefully disappear and this will not be a blog worthy topic again. I vow to go back and purchase the same jeans I fell in love with yesterday in a size I hope to be by Christmas. They are amazing and I think they will be motivating.
The next sad mission is to sort through my shoes and donate all the ones that don't fit to Goodwill. I could see myself saving them in hope of fitting into them one day. And that would be stupid (and it would drive Kelly crazy). So I will purge the closet. But, you know damn well I plan to replace them with better, more awesome footwear. I am sure the count of cast offs will be intense considering I have about 60+ pairs at last count. *sigh* I feel like I should have a funeral or memorial for them all.