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Thursday, June 17, 2010

not sweetened. not condensed. just milk.

I figured if I waited a few days between blogs things would just be more hilarious all at once for you. OK fine, truth is I have not been able to put together a sentence that made any sense whatsoever because of major sleep deprivation. I won't even go on and on about that because today was so very blog worthy that lack of sleep is common for new mommies and so old news (not to mention sooooo not funny).

I woke today to many many things worth laughing about. I shall paragraph them in the order I discovered them.

Last night my wonderful son decided to let me sleep until 4 am!! Major improvement. And then after feeding, soothing and diapering he went back down till 7 am. Can't explain what a miracle that is after the other night where I thought I may need a priest and a movie deal. We figured out that breast milk makes him have horrendous gas at night when he is still. So trying formula before bed proved successful and an exorcism was not needed after all. I will say that watching our baby writhe in pain and contort himself to find relief while wailing at full volume is enough to make you crazy. But figuring out it was my milk causing this was enough to break my heart. I am elated to find a fix for that issue.

But (always a but) there was of course dark lining on my silver cloud. I woke with a soaked shirt because though I took care of business at 4 am with a fairly clear head, I forgot the important task of pumping. And those milk machines just keep on making. So I had a shirt wetter than a drunk college girl in Cancun on spring break. I did however, sleep like a champ. And I will take that trade off any night from here forward. A shirt can be laundered and poor swollen boobies can be pumped but sleep is precious and I have been in the red as far as hours logged.

And last but not least. I also woke to a mildly hungry-fussy boy and toted him to the kitchen to warm a breakfast bottle. Kelly is way awesome because he pre-makes these and pops them in the fridge so I can warm them easily while in a sleepy daze. I also let the doggies out to go potty and fed them ( all one handed while my kiddo babbles and makes little zoolander expressions and sucking noises which we call his "eatin' face"). After feeding, the boy was all milk drunk. So I turned on his stars ( a super great stuffed turtle with a hard shell that has star cut outs. Colored light shines these stars on the wall much to his amazement) for him to ooooh and ahh at while I get my pump ready to undo my milk problemo. I walk back to the kitchen and on the way notice both dogs looking waaaayyyyy guilty. And they are being quiet. And not following me to see if I have the little crying person with me. Upon closer inspection I see that they are in fact stuck together. Now. For those of you who do not know what this means, I will explain. See, when two dogs love each other very much............. :) just kidding. Simply put, they were doing it. When dogs do it, they get stuck together. And they manage to get to the point where they were standing, genitals connected, facing opposite ways and looking ashamed. After pointing and laughing ( you know I did) I took them as one item and placed them gently in the shower stall. Lovingly closed the door. And hosed them with cold water. Instant detach. Two very grateful wet beast sulked back to the living room to shiver under a blanket thinking they were in trouble.

Through all of this fun my husband snores. I think I will be super wife and plop little man in bed with Daddio and make some coffee. And over cups of java in bed while gazing at our perfect boy I will tell him the tale of my morning.

And in 1hr 24min Aidan will be one week old. And I just did math at 7:34 am. Boooyah!!

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