Search This Blog

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Master Plan

Finally. After weekly visits that end in a smiling nurse shaking her head no. Have I mentioned how much I hate being told no? Oh, I thought I had touched on that. Yeah, so I hate it. I usually try not to put myself in situations where I am told no. I like YES moments far better. So much more positive. And when I am happy, lots of people are happy. I am fairly sure this is how most women operate. Unless they are a gluten for punishment and like to pout. So after being told NO more times in a month than I have ever encountered in my life prior, I am told YES!!!! Yes we can schedule the C-section for my baby. Yes I can have it on the day I wanted ( because what an awesome sounding birthday that will be). And yes it will be next week. Again, one of those clouds parting, sun shining down in soft rays as angels go "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" moments. Divine indeed. I don't think I have ever been so thrilled to wait forever at the appointment counter as two chatty desk gals flip through my Docs calendar. After waiting eons and even making another trip to the loo (because that's all I do is pee anymore) my day was set. Rather, Aidans day was set.

The only bummer (when dealing with Voldemort it does seem like joy is always dampened slightly on any event) is that we cannot tell the girl. Why not you ask? Well, not because we don't want to. I wanted to call her squealing and giggling as soon as they said I could have my way. And I know she would feel like it is unfair if she ever figures out we knew and didn't let her in on it. But, someone ruined that for her. Someone that lets her watch Greys Anatomy. Let me give you some back story. A while back Hal came to me and in a brave tone with a shaky voice asked if I was going to have a C-section. I asked how she knew what that was, or if any of her friends Mommys had had that. She was tearing up and and told me she watched an emergency C-section on Greys Anatomy and a lady had her belly cut open and they took the baby out because the lady or the baby could have died. She said she didn't want me to have to have that. Heavy stuff eh. Yeah. I agree. After really collecting my thoughts on this one and resisting saying how inappropriate it is that her mother allows her to watch that show, I explained that shows like that are all about drama. And without crazy near death plots the show would have no viewers. I told her that in truth, a C-section could happen. But that Mommies all over the world have them and it isn't a scary emergency like TV. Unfortunately, even with my attempts at comforting and correcting, the image is there. I can't erase that. The incredible mind of a 7 year old is an amazing thing. And I refuse to tell her the news of her baby brothers birthday, in fear of the nightmares she could have and the innocent sleep she would lose. Instead I will wait till D-day and Kelly will collect her from school and she will come see me and Aidan after. I won't lie about how he came into the world, by then I know she wont even think about it. Just him being here will overshadow any scary thought.

So, am I happy? Insanely! With only one little drawback. That could have been prevented with proper parenting. After next week all will be ok. And Aidan will finally be here!!!!


If you will not protect your child, who will protect your child from you?

No comments:

Post a Comment