Going over the vocabulary I choose for this blog is sometimes an unconscious thing. More robotic and automatic. Thinking about the phrases I avoid made me laugh today though. Like the fact that I think the word "crotch" is a horrendous term to use during any pregnancy related topic. It's offensive. I prefer the term "pelvis". It is an all inclusive way to discuss that region entirely. And the fact that everyone reading this knows where babies come from makes it easy to skirt using the "V" word. Really in the whole labor pain/contraction/crippling world I live in recently, the "V" hasn't even played a role. And when it does, I am pretty sure I will be screaming far too much to blog about any of it.
Yesterday afternoon was the epic onslaught of torture thus far. The incapacitating, knock the wind out of me, drop me to my knees and paralyze me contractions. Which I feel it safe to call actual contractions and not this braxton hicks crap. I was in tears on the phone with first my husband, then my nurse. Holy hell did I sob. Have not been that panicked ever. I felt out of control. My whole abdomen was seizing every 40-50 minutes and my tailbone pressure was making me see stars. The baby was fighting back as my abs (what is left of the poor things) constrict him. In between these involuntary bouts of all things hurting, I still has tightness throughout and my lower back, which had kind of called a truce when the baby dropped and weight dispersed a little different, was back with a vengeance. Guess the truce was off. The lower back had now teamed up with most of my internal organs in protest of these contractions. I could clearly tell this when I began getting nauseous in unison with having the constant urgent sensation of needing to pee (though most often the peeing was a false alarm, you never can be too sure at this stage) and of course the back pain. Imagine my relief when my husband arrived and I was no longer pacing and crying around the house moaning like a zombie without an audience. My relief was very brief and transformed into embarrassment because I hate to cry more than almost anything on the planet and voila! I am reduced to a pathetic crying mess during these body battles. Lame. Then I cried harder, and blubbered. And the best part? When the contractions picked up again, the swearing is added to the crying, blubbering nonsensical theatrics and I am a sideshow.
About 5 hours late things settled down as I consumed spicy chicken nuggets and chased it with a frosty ( have I mentioned that I love my husband). I was exhausted and annoyed. This either needs to happen or not happen. Never have I felt less in the drivers seat. There is literally nothing I can do to steer this ship. So I did what any woman does when they have had a stressful day. I went to bed early and pouted. Kelly came in and after talking about life in general he had done what he often does best. Talked me out of a rough mood and and reminded me of how good I have it. I slept amazing after my full body workout and woke up happy. Today we go to see Dr. Awesome again. And I plan on throwing the largest tantrum ( out of body experience) if I don't hear the word induce, followed by a very near date. Like today or even tomorrow will work for me. I can be reasonable. :)
Again, wish me luck.