the world has gone mad

ok. So it's been a long time since I got all agro (aggravated) about something little and stupid. And normally my favorite things to wig out about are those that are so stupid that I am shocked at human kind and MUST post about my outrage. This is one such event.

As we were moving (YES we got the house and moved and long story short about that, it was a nightmare as moving always is. My husband is now a withered waste of a man having used all of his brut strength. But the house rocks.) we became aware that the girls fish was dying. Super sad and her tender little heart was breaking audibly. Knowing it would be the end of the world as we know it if we lost more than one fish in the tank, my husband and I carefully scooped everyone into individual containers for the move and got the tank loaded in record time. We hop in the car and beeline for a local enormous chain type pet store. I am a bit of a nerd ( ok, major super fish nerd. I heart fish ok.) and I knew what the fish had died from and wanted to prevent a tank wide outbreak by dosing the colony with the ever-ready commonly popular blue medicine that anyone who is anyone who has ever had a fish has used. It is in fact the only junk that cures ick ( a cloudy fluffy outer scale infection of the fungal kind that quickly covers a fish and renders him floaty) and it is often simply named things like "rid-ick" or "Ick-B-Gone". I get to the store and swoop into the fish area combing the medication only to find there are no such products. I must be blind or they must just have it elsewhere I assumed. I was in a hurry so I became that jerk who butts into the line of moms and little children who are only going to tell the clerk "We are just looking at the fishies" when he gets to them anyways. I am having a fish emergency people! The clerk is so stereotypical I can't stand it but I waste no time chuckling. I ask for the product by name and he smiles and tells me the have pulled ALL blue ick meds off the market. WHAT THE DEUCE!!! I laugh and think it must be nerd humor. Nope. He says that people were using it to get high. That's where it all goes crazy for me. I seriously said to him " Are you frikken shitting me?" He says no and goes in to point out herbal remedies made from garlic and west African tree roots. ARG!!!! I neeeeeeeeed the blue crap. It is the only thing that works. And not to mention that Ick is the simplest fish sickness. It should have a standard cure. And it did before stupid idiot crack head America started getting stoned on it.


Here is my questions of the day ( I had to go back and make it plural because I started rattling off so many). How absolutely hard up for drugs do you have to be to raid your fish tank supplies? Even better, how many different tank fluids did you have to ingest before one worked? Any science minded person could probably figure that at least one chemical under that treasure trove for a junky would have some upper or downer effect, but I think it is safe to assume that people science minded enough to know this probably aren't the ones gulping down Ick medicine. Jackass crack heads ruin another perfectly good and useful product for the rest of us. And thanks a lot government for pulling the product instead of trying another prevention method ( I dunno about adding it to the school "don't do drugs" programs but hey whatever). Now if my poor kids fish die what do I say? Perhaps " I am so sorry sweetie, but crack heads and a crazy government teamed up to kill your fish." I think that will work.



On a lighter note. She had her first day of school today. And she was "out of bed" at 6 am!!! Lord only knows when her eyes opened or how long she laid there with first day butterflies. So cute. She was dressed and ready and totally full of gusto when I got out of bed. And she practically floated out the door to the car. I seriously cannot wait for the report on the day. Her outfit was perfect so I am sure she'll knock it out of the park with a stellar first impression ( that and I taught her how to zip her lip for the first week and let all the other chatty kids get busted. Then she'll look like the good one).

How to drive yourself insane

Step one: Plan to get married and then 6 months later, when you are totally scheduled and planned and fit into your dress perfect, find out you are pregnant a week before the wedding.

Step two: While you are pregnant, do anything you can to add to your already complicated life. Like for instance, buy a house.

Step three: Give birth and try to close on said house the same day. It's called multi-tasking.

Step three: Try to balance the baby ( sleep deprivation looks good on you) and the house and also assist with the "girly" side of parenting a 7 yr old. ( While attempting to not step on the bio-moms toes. Riiiiiight.)

Step four: Care for Daddy who is a stress mess about the house stuff (which is always in a "pending" state I swear!!) and not even the baby daddy. I mean Grandpa.

Step five: Somewhere in there turn 30 and then have a mini melt down about it over a month later.

Step six: Have an emergency birth of puppies ( that were conceived while you were giving birth to your very own kiddo. Smooth move on that timing) and rush Momma dog to the vet in a hasty panic.

Step seven: Enter Landlord stage left with new tenants coming in on the first. Lease signed and all. P.S. he wants you to revamp the yard for them as he'll be in Italy. (Say what?)

Last step( so far): Stand back and admire the chaos. Holy crap. How did I get here.





That is a re-hash of the last 10 months. Crazy eh? Yeah I know, I do what I can. I think I am one "urgent" phone call away from a heart attack. And I am in dire need of a happy hour filled with Martinis and Lemon Drops. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? .......RIGHT? Ok.


More tomorrow. I swear. I just had to vent and recap. I am one glutton for punishment. Sheesh




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It was brought to my attention that I listed two Step Threes. I am leaving it that way as an example of my point. And thanks you Beecher for pointing out my error. I did in fact LOL.