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Friday, June 15, 2012

Losing my shit

I am writing this wearing headphones while my toddler screams at top volume over his cartoons in his highchair with all of his favorite foods thrown to the floor. I am .2 seconds from mailing him to Guam. I am blasting my music so loud I can't hear the keys I am pounding out of frustration. A little 3oh3! aught to make this morning better......uh or at least different. Ugh. How do I find a nanny help line I can call at 5am when I have absolutely had it? Does that exist? Can we create one? I feel like we'd see a lot less moms on the six o'clock news for flipping out.

I am due for an update to explain my worn nerves. For that I somewhat apologize. I say somewhat because I have barely had time to feel guilty for neglecting a blog.

We are buying a house. Yep. We did just do that two years ago with my Dad. It did not work out as planned and we are unable to buy him out of his half because of legal garbage. He is heading to am assisted living facility that is more like Timberline lodge than a nursing home. Needless to say he is packed and has one foot ( and cane) out the door already. So at least he is pumped. I was .4 seconds from mailing him someplace too ( I almost said Nam, to rhyme with Guam and laughed out loud to myself because that is really mean). His memory, mental state and medical needs are just beyond me now unfortunately. For not being medically trained I did my best. Sooooo, moving on. New house. *sigh* And this time it is permanent no matter what. I don't care what Indian burial ground it could be built on or which dead president haunts it. That's the one. ( Ooooo Matt and Kim just came one Yay!) Anyhow the place is like 2 miles from here and has an enormous yard and cool neighbors that Kelly has already bet and bro-ed out with, and a great hood with a massive park a block away with tennis courts ( yeah I am stoked on flailing around on those for sure). It's all good, just stressy.

And Aidan is well into his program with Early Interventions and making progress. It is tough to watch and realize he is making strides that the "average" kid makes way before this and know that without his EI teachers he may have taken longer to get here. Sometimes he just seems like a big baby to me. And then other times (today) he is a skilled martial arts terrorist vandal with hulk strength and an appetite for destruction hell bent on mind control and ruling the universe. He has mastered bringing us snack boxes to ask for food instead of using words. And I am taking this to the next level by trapping a few groups of toys in clear tubs so he has to bring them to us and ask to play. I am officially having to trick my kid into playing with us. Holding Matchbox cars hostage in trade for some quality one on one. He is doing well with the social exercises but as always thus far, just flat out ignores speech practice. Bonz and I are in agreement that he just has his own language and clearly thinks we are idiots for not grasping his dialect. I am leaning towards martian.

I am concerned with the stepgirl and her summer schedule with the other side. Or lack of schedule really. But honestly I have wayyyyy too much to sort out and can't really even spare an eye roll for voldemort right now. She should consider herself lucky and not assume quiet means oblivious. I still know more than I ever let on and as always am ten steps ahead. Not very difficult when someones poor practices are predictable and repeated. Same poop different scoop really. So it's almost like I handle that mess on auto pilot. I am sure this summer will bring new annoyances now that Public School can't babysit the child during the day. Hoping (not holding my breath, but hoping) that will allow the girl some time over here for swim classes with little dude. That's what summer should be about. Swimming, sunscreen and popsicles. And they don't even have to be sugar free over here. When the demon lady hears about our new house I am sure she herself will loss her shit. Keeping up with the Felti really is getting tough. You have to practically be a carny to keep as much going as we are. That nightmare of envious venom will no doubt be blog worthy. ( oh yeah! Some Regulatorrrrrrrs to finish off the playlist)

The sun is now shining and I am going outside to take pictures of new jewelry pieces for sale. That is all going well too. :)

Best part of digging out my headphones and throwing a fit and deciding to blog it out: I can listen to old school rap and Ace of Base and horrible power ballad 80's jams without judgement from my spouse and/or possibly teaching Aidan some really shitty first sentences to sing around the house. And, I do feel a bit better.

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