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Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Busy as a bee on fire

So we have a specialist from Early Interventions coming to the house to observe Aidan in his natural habitat. Which of course makes me feel like my house will never be clean enough, that my Dad will not stay in his downstairs area ( I fear he will be up here and annoying this poor lady and waste our visit with her talking about American Choppers ) and that I will cry my stupid head off in front of her. I have scented candles throughout the whole upstairs burning away and I tossed the stinky fart dog outside until further notice. Perhaps forever. Is it wrong to want a glass of wine at 8am to calm my nerves? Hmmm should probably skip that just in case. I did take Pamprin this morning and I may regret that choice in an hour. Last night I took a dose on an empty stomach and whoooooweee I was high as a kite. On menstrual cramp, over the counter medicine. Yep. Major light weight when it comes to any pills. I avoid taking things when prescribed for pain or injury. I usually don't even fill the script. About an hour after taking two little white elliptical chalky things I didn't actually feel wonky at all. Totally forgot I took them and hopped in the shower ( I had been shampooing the carpets upstairs all day and smelled like dust and Rug Doctor soap). Have you ever shaved your legs under the influence? I DO NOT recommend this. Felt like it took me forever to accomplish from knee to ankle without slicing myself to ribbons. But, on the flip side, I felt squeaky clean and insanely refreshed when I got out having run the water completely cold running in on my face because it felt weird and amazing.

I am ridiculous. I can imagine how people frying on magic mushrooms must feel when everything simple is an amazing adventure. I can't even fathom how far into oblivion that would take my brain if this is what Pamprin does to me. I just laugh cried at that thought because I actually paused and tried to picture it. I would be in an asylum after attempting anything stronger than Vicodin. I don't know if that is sad or awesome. I'll get back to you on that.

I can say for certain that even if I am thinking of having a nervous talk with the EI  lady about the adventures of household drugs I will not. I will have to ramble about some other stupid ( less offensive and questionable) topic. Like the price of scented candles and where to find deals on them ( Amazon).

My kid is dancing to J.Lo so I have to go find the remote. We just can't have that. Not even Pamprin makes Mizz Lopez entertaining to me.

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