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Saturday, June 25, 2011

Age is just a number?

I thought I had put this out of my mind and gotten over it. A dream I had and couldn't shake told me otherwise. So here I am. While at the grocery store the other day a lady commented on my cute son and asked how old he is. I, weighing the pros and cons of Frosted Flakes vs Raisin Bran, just answered "about a year old" without really paying much attention. The woman didn't smile and move along the aisle like the others do. She actually said " about? he looks much older than 12 months. Are you sure he isn't 18 months?". Which is annoying for so so many reasons. But I guess the reason that urks me most is the stupid month thing (Though I know it should be the fact she insinuated that I don't know how old my kid is). I have a hard time with measuring a kids age in months after one year old. Because it feels stupid! Really, if you think about it, would it feel normal to say your child is 56 months? Exactly. That is how I would feel saying 13, 15, 19 etc months. Instead, my kid is "about a year" until he is a year and a half. And at that point, he is "about a year and a half".

I was also this way about measuring pregnancy in weeks. It's like just when you enter into an experience that people measure as 9 months ( which is a joke because "technically" it's 10) you are then told that you are XYZ weeks along and that is now the speak used. Argg. It's Trimesters and months and weeks Oh My!! So confusing. But wait there's more!! After you give birth, your wee one is measured in weeks for just a teeny bit. And then months for what seems like eternity. I would like to know who decided to complicate all these timelines. And who decided " we will say that a child is ___ months old until this age. That sounds good. Sure". Is it the same jerk who made American measurement of inches and miles and whatnot ( like we just have to be different from other countries in another way) while all the kilometers in the world couldn't make our students understand math as well as China kids. Thanks for that by the way, whoever you are.

In my overly opinionated opinion, I was pregnant for almost ten months, and now my kid is just over a year old. No more weeks and months from here on out.

I think if this happens again I will ask how old the woman is ( I say woman because men don't give a royal shit how old my kid is. This is a weird female thing). So when I woke up from the annoying reenactment of the shopping event, I smiled as I pictured my snappy response to the rude pterodactyl " he is about a year. How many decades are you, you precious artifact? ".

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