When life gets real low, it's still going to be ok if you stay awesome.

  So many unhappy people filling their baskets with expensive shit they have to have. Watching those types shop where I work makes it all the more important for me not to let the season of consumerism get me down this year. I normally hold my head really high and refuse to admit defeat. But, I am going to admit she is winning. Voldemort has crushed the gift giving part Christmas for the Felti house. It is official. But I am not going to let greed win or even matter. I still have the feeling of love that the holidays give. I am spending my time doing good for others instead of having that Gimme Gimme attitude that can just invade your soul during the shopping red tag everything madness. And I know I have instilled that in Hallie. When she and I sit and look at what we can make for our family, friends and teachers, my heart is full. No one really needs a 900$ kayak. Wants and needs are so super important to set right with our kids these days.

  It's all ok. All of it. I have no hate in my being today even as I write this. I have pity but not hate. I gave myself the gift of letting go last Christmas and this has been a year of focus on good things. I have more to be grateful for than I do to be sorry for. Because all the golden goblets in the world can't bring back moments missed, or love not shared or peace and calm family time. Those are the things Christmas means to me. I can watch Aidan or Hallies eyes light up just the same when the open my expertly wrapped Pinterest fail. It just doesn't matter. And even as I wonder if the Grinch's heart will grow three sizes when she sees what Hal made for her, I still encourage Hal to make it. Because she asked and I would never say no. Even if it lands in the trash like years past at least both the girl and I know what is right in the world.


 My crisp honesty here lacks details because they aren't worth dwelling on anymore. We will be ok. Anyone who has been thinking of us or worrying,  just know we will be ok. I promise. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and life keeps moving. Even when I write about stress and real life please don't feel sorry for me. I especially am ok. I'm awesome. I mean that. My heart is full and damnit I have the most beautiful ability to just go and do. It will all be ok. All of it.


  This really is the season of miracles. Not even because we want them so badly. Good things really truly do happen to good people. I believe that more now than I ever have.


P.s. You are awesome too.


I will leave you with the cutest thing ever. I feel like Groot is my spirit animal.