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Friday, December 27, 2013

Sometimes I hate biting my tongue.

Things I thought but didn't say this holiday season:

"No, I don't think it's wrong for that particular child to have an instagram. Her parents restrict and monitor everything like an awesome parent should."

 "Your roots are terribly obvious and not stylish and they go perfectly with your Bitchin Camaro."

"He's just not that into you. Stop changing everything about yourself to make it happen."

"Your teen is a cyber slut. I unfriended her because it grossed me out."

"I think it's insulting to assume most people don't know how to stick washi tape to a toothpick." 

"I think it's rude to be weirded out that some people don't know what washi tape is."

"Being a stay at home mom is not the same as being unemployed you pompous asshole."

"Handing your kid a book about feelings is NOT the same as actually having an open talk about her feelings."

"Waiting for your turn to talk is the exact opposite of being a good, supportive listener." 

"I do think that gift made our extremely poor friend feel like you are a rude and showy asshole." 

"Yes, it is selfish for "Santa" to get you a new tablet and your kid a pair of shoes from Payless."

If you think these are uncalled for you might be the offender. The holiday season is about kindness and love but sometimes being polite is really hard when you have jerks in your outer fringes of folks you are forced to interact with. The type you probably avoid during the year because you don't choose to align with the rudeness. But you can't shake them because of a friends-sibling clause or they married into your family or you married into theirs. Cheers to the forced niceties being over and to getting on to the New Years parties with the ones you really enjoy!!!

Anything you wish you could have said? I would love to know I am not alone in this so comment away.


  1. No, your kid isn't a brat because you did the best you could with Christmas and she is ungrateful - she just doesn't understand why mom got a coach purse if money was so tight. Really, I could go on but this was the worst.

  2. No, I don't hate that my daughter is a "girlie girl," I just hate that she gets labeled and boxed in, in any capacity.

    Also, to someone else, your husband is a dick and that's why we never see you.

  3. "Oh that's a boy toy. She wouldn't like that." How would they know if you don't ask them!? All toys. Are toys. Quit with the gender limiting already!!!
    *Sigh* yes the holidays are definitely the reason some people go crazy.

  4. "No I didn't get you a $40 gift card to's a Visa gift card and I purchased it at Walgreens so you could see the amount on the card" . All explained after I got a snarky teenager look.....and why do I have to explain....I'd be happy with $40 bucks to spend at Walgreens.

  5. "Um no, I don't want to pitch in $20 for all the crippy crap you bought for everyones stockings, and ended up costing more than you wanted to spend. If I wanted to pay for my own stocking I would have put in shit I actually like"

  6. I love you girlfriend!! This made me laugh .