Mutha Runna

 I started the long, seemingly pointless journey back into my running shoes. Two tall sport socks and one knotted sneaker into the fiasco and I was already contemplating putting my tired ass back into my warm dent I had ass-crafted into my side of the bed. It took years to perfect that spot and my laziness. I am not a runner. I do not claim to be one. I don't join groups that run together for fun. For me it isn't fun. It's a task I know works to achieve my fitness goals. I have done it before and I can do it again. Though I am finding it much more difficult to start this go round. It's much easier to get off a skinny butt and toss on sneakers one day and on a whim jog around your neighborhood. Back then I was 20-something with epic amounts of sleep banked for energy and a fit shape that didn't look so much like an apple with legs. Now, this is my chore. But I am going at it honest. Knowing it is hard work makes me feel all that much more accomplished when I actually make myself get out of bed for good at 5 am. Aidan already has me up and doing laps to his room at that time so why not make the most of it. Coffee gets percolating sooner. My face gets washed and my clothes change ( real SH moms know what I am talking about here. Some days don't require real clothes so we don't need a wardrobe change). And now, I put on running shoes and comfy socks and my headphones.

 This has been the first week back into it. Feeling like an explorer I set off into the dark and thought about all kinds of weird shit because my mind was just waking up and getting all thinky on a few sips of coffee. Like a nutso type of turrets really. "It's really well lit in this part of the hood" "I really should have brushed my teeth" "Hmmm the stars are out still" I decided I needed music so I got my phone out and remembered I had gotten an app for mapping my running route. See, If I was an actual runner I would have been using it the whole walk so far. So I stopped at the park and loaded it while I stretched. " I should stretch here every morning. So nice out" "But it will eventually be so shitty out with rain I'll forget about that plan" annnnnnnnnd loaded. And off on my run. I went zigzagging around all over finding dead ends and loops. All sorts of bummers for a route to consistently follow that was not on a shoulder of a semi busy street. Getting annoyed at all the god damned Katy Perry popping into my music station I stopped for a minute and it dawned on me. The grade school has a track! It was there that I successfully finished off a few miles of run/walking and came home feeling pretty good about my morning.

 On day two I was extra sleepy and had in fact passed out on the couch the night before super early. That is a perk for me because I tend to be good and tired at night but my brain keep me up wayyyyyy later than I like. Especially after a really effed up episode of Breaking Bad ( am I right?!). I got up and made the coffee and drank an actual cup before getting dressed in the dark and slipping out the back door. I popped my ear buds in and walked to the park to stretch only to find the damn cat had followed me. Air kicks and arm flails did nothing to make him head back and I stood there cussing him out for a minute. I am sure I looked completely sane. I turned on my route mapper and took off sprinting. Looking over my shoulder I found that Hurley cat had lost interest and gone home. I decided to keep running. Which was incredibly stupid. About 1 mile into my 4 mile goal I was dying and my shins, calves, knees, thighs and arches were on fire. I should have stretched. Like ANY warm up would have been good. Damned cat.

 I made it to the school track and really getting some back to back solid songs with a pace better suited for the running I had intended not the walk I was lamely doing, I said screw it. It hurt. So much. And I was really genuinely mad at myself. I had blocked my own goal and I was going to have to surrender to the pain and head home. I always try to challenge or trick myself and do one more lap but I was surely going to be dead if I did. As I rounded the curve into a straightaway that I could either turn left back onto the main track loop or continue forward and go home, one of my jams came on. The right kind of song to push me just a little. But it hurts!!! So. I skipped. I skipped a whole mile when I was done. Half at first then walking. Then another half. AND IT WAS AWESOME!!!! It is easier than running!! I know, I know. "But you'll look so stupid!" and I did I'm sure. But it hurt way less and I still did more of my mileage goal that way. Not the 4 I wanted but like 2.68 when I got home and checked. And it's way better than zero. So, yeah. Skip to my frikken Lou!!!


 I told a friend about my silliness yesterday and she laughed with me and said "Oh my gawd!!! what if people saw you?!". I told her I hope they did and I hope it made their day and I hope it's the funniest thing they saw all week. YouTube that shit!! I don't care! And maybe next time I will do some cartwheels. I hear that hurling your whole body mass onto your hands and forearms over and over is a super great workout too ( totally kidding. I heard it's terrible and hurts like hell the next day and we are wayyyyy too old for that shit, stick to skipping).


 Been a while since I did one of these. I should really get back into that habit.

Word of the day:  Beat Up  - The outcome of exerting yourself because music moves you to do so and you almost don't have a choice in the matter. Involuntary animation of ones body due to beat or rhythm leaving one exhausted. 



Bee Tee Dubs!! I did a little research and found fun fitness info!

Skippy-skip-skip-skip skip!

I almost added my map because it's really funny and looks like a lost person wandering around. But I decided I would rather not have specific lunatics knowing where I run, in the dark at the ass crack of dawn. Also, unrelated, I have cop friends and I carry pepper spray and I know martial arts.