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Monday, March 8, 2010

mysterious secret mommy club

I have been trying to figure out if ladies either forget how hard this is or just have amnesia after the wee one is born. Or maybe sometimes it's a secret club and the only way to get real answers about pregnancy issues is to have gone through it, like some sick initiation. Don't get me wrong, I have about four mommies who tell me the straight poop about certain things. For the most part, I think some who have had it rough would like to watch you flounder and suffer. Like when I asked a group at work about how they ever got motivated to clean their house while feeling lethargic and bloated, I got every vague answer known to man. " You will get the hang of it" "Just take it day by day" and the universal "Just wait till the baby gets here" just to name a few. Um, hello? Anybody want to tell me what's up with that? I think they either had no frikkin idea how they handled it, did not feel like they handled it well at the time, or that giving birth really is a mind erasing event. It's like talking to droids. I think I will start using really vague answers to questions for one whole day at work and see how obnoxious it gets. They are interchangeable if you pick the right ones. Like "It's ok, it's just Monday" or "Better have another cup of coffee before you tackle that one" or "I don't know is it happy hour yet?". See how they like it.

Another thing. I really like the funny stories about when my friends and co-workers were prego. But I have learned a new lesson in personality observation. You know the "one uppers" in your life? Wait till they have a baby. ( One upper; Person always one better than you. Example: If you like eggs for breakfast and make a great omelet, they own a chicken farm.) These are the most annoying. And yes there is a difference between a conversation with a few ladies that keeps escalating till the stories are so embarrassing that no eye is dry from laughter, and when one woman decides to trump all friendly stories offered with one of her own having a "nya nya nya. so there!" tone to it. Thus halting fun laughter time and making a socially awkward silence. It's like this:

Lady 1: " My sleep has been so limited that I find myself dozing at my desk"

Lady 2: " At least you're sleeping, I have been up all night watching food network re-runs till I am starving"

One upper: "Sleep hasn't been an issue. But I am not able to hold my running time the way I used to. I was at a 9 minute mile and I am down to 13. "

Really? Oh brother. Get over yourself.
We are sharing personal failures here. Like when I sneezed and peed my pants? Funny stuff. Can't wait till her rocket scientist is born crawling a 9 minute mile. Barf. It's cool. My rough and tumble little Chuck Norris may just have to take him down a notch at daycare.

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